Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Are You Selflessly Dating?


Last night Cody Kimmel presented the Awakening with an awesome speech on dating...the Christian way

Cody kicked off the message by defining two words - Love & Dating - two words which are very loosely used and carelessly thrown around in today’s culture.

Love - the commitment of my will to your needs and best interest, regardless of the cost.

Dating - the process of helping one another fall more in love with Christ through intentional service and selfless giving, with the hope that as individuals fall more in love with Christ, God draws the hearts of the two together as well.

Our generation and the culture we live in is obsessed with falling in love. So many of us take part in “Self-centered Dating” with the belief that he or she is there solely to make US happy; in our lives as an added “accessory”.

Cody went on to define “Self-centered Dating”:
1. Building an atmosphere of manipulation.
2. Exchanging the subject with the object in a godly definition of love.
        -Believing it is about being loved, rather than giving love.
3. Reversing the order of operations for how couples grow and develop.
        -Starting with the physical, most immediate gratifying connection...then seeking the emotional connection.

As we can see, these tactics are the exact opposite of living a godly life and pursuing a godly relationship. Sadly enough, our culture has defined this as “the norm”; our culture views dating as a way to fall in love so WE (not they) can be happy.

As we look at Ruth 2:3, we are able to read about and visualize the godly courtship of Ruth and Boaz. Cody noted that Boaz first noticed Ruth’s character (Ruth 2:10-12) and then helped Ruth better serve Naomi (Ruth 2:8-18). In today’s terms, Boaz was “perusing” Ruth; foremost, by honoring God, and then by seeking to serve Ruth selflessly. Ruth and Boaz had nothing to hide, no secrets; there was no atmosphere of manipulation between the two. Boaz knew Ruth had left her family to serve and honor Naomi among the land of the Jews, although Ruth was not a Jew or an Israelite. More importantly, Boaz and Ruth were not actively seeking to be loved, but were actively seeking to glorify God and to love. The two continued to establish this connection, not on a physical level, but on a spiritual and emotional level.

Boaz and Ruth not only demonstrated but are prime examples of “Other-centered Dating”: the process of helping one another fall more in love with Christ through intentional service and selfless giving, with the hope that as individuals fall more in love with Christ, God draws the hearts of the two together as well.

Cool quote: “When you know by the blood of Jesus that you have been admitted to the ultimate inner ring (perfect acceptance with the Father, Son, and Spirit), then it allows you to focus on the needs of others in your relationships.”

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)

Questions to Ponder: 
How can your relationship with God and His people help you date (or be married) in a way that honors God by serving one another? 
How could you help someone close to you serve God this week?

In Him,
Kendall Johnson

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